Monday, February 24, 2014

Expecting the Unexpected #MommaBlog

I am beyond happy! Yes... why? Because it seems like a blooming season like literally. I mean I am so happy because people around me seem to be pregnant.

My sister, my collage-mates, my friends, and even my favorite beauty guru! So happy to expect a bundle of joy together with these people. 

Since this is not my 1st pregnancy I just want to share what I have gone through these years and what to expect on the journey.

Disclaimer: This is my own personal experience which might different with other mothers and might have different opinion so don't feel harm or anything. I don't want to show off or judge other. I just want to share what I've experienced. 
Most of you might know my 1st pregnancy story. Because I have repeated several times and it was printed on national mother and baby magazine lol.. 

I got married in September 2010 and found out I was pregnant my 1st child in November 2010. It was super fast and it was tough. After we got married I have to move from Jakarta and live in this small suburban town called Turen in the south Malang. Living miles away from my mom is very hard (until now) because there is no more mom who always full fills my need. Ahhh I miss being her lil daughter and being spoiled. I am now a mother and I am now the one who spoils my daughter :P 

Being a mother is nothing like I have ever thought about. Because this is reality not those TV series of a perfect mothers stories. We are human and we are imperfect, we create flaw but we learn from it. And don't worry if you are afraid going through motherhood because we have the basic instinct, we will survive lol.

Sooo.. what should you expect on pregnancy and motherhood? 

You will expect the unexpected happiness. 



Your life will change, it's not about you anymore. I am very lucky because I have a very supportive husband. He always supports me, he never demands me to stay at home or to work outside. He lets me decide but I decide to be a dedicated mother lol.. I mean what I have in mind about this because it's your baby life which will never be repeated. I want to be a part of her life in every single second I could.

 I have dreams to continue my study, I want to have my master degree, I want to learn about beauty and makeup professionally but again I know it's not the time yet. Maybe in next 10 years when my children are busy with their school and social life I might have free time to pursue my dreams. So I say I don't bury my dreams, I just post-pone it. 

My life after I know I was pregnant for the 1st time is about positivity. This is what I try to live on since I have my 1st daughter in my tummy. Because you are the biggest influence of your lil one. Your are his/her role model, that's why I try to build the biggest positive environment for her. So people say if you live without drama it doesn't feel living but for me if I can avoid drama and have a peace positive environment for me and family that's living.  

And I have stopped watch movie in theater since before I got married! 4 years ago! Wowww.. once I watched with Abigail, it was despicable me 2 but it seems she is uncomfortable with the situation and the sound is too surround so we decide to wait until a couple more years. If you decide to have nanny to help you, don't you worry you might have date-night with your hubby. But I don't have nanny, not because hubby doesn't allow me but just because I don't want. I don't easily trust stranger and on the other hand I want to watch every single second my baby development moment. 

I and my hubby are not the romantic couple since we are together we have known about it. We are having this relationship of just be real. I know he loves me and he knows I love him, that's all we need. And one thing more important for us than those date-nights is communication. We talk almost about anything. Since we are married there is no more line between us. Fortunately, we rarely fight. I remember the last time we argued was about how to handle Abbie's night terror like 1.5 years ago. Those tiring nights had made us tired and fed-up and so we argued. It ended well though. In the situation of one person stress and under-pressure, the other one must lift the partner and support. That's the important, we've learned about through years. 

And the last things you might not expect as mother are the multi-jobs you will do. Stay-at-home-mother (SAHM) has more jobs to do than working mom. This is serious, I mean when you are at home you must handle your children, you must prepare food, you must handle the finance, sometimes you have to be the handy man when daddy is not around, you have to be the hair-stylist when you baby needs haircut ASAP, you have to be a psych when your baby is grumpy wanting something but he/she can't tell you and many more jobs. Yes as mothers, there is no more a long me-time, you will lack of sleep, you will have this non-stop working hours 7 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 12 months a year, and so on. But one precious thing as the remuneration of what you have done is the joy your lil one brings to you. 

Your tiredness will disappear by the time you see your lil one sleeps in love and peace, 
Your sleepless night will disappear by the time you know you lil one is able to say "I love you"
Your frustration of teaching him/her will disappear by the time he/she is able to do so
Your non-stop working hours will be granted when you know the lil one hug and kiss you and he/she loves you to the moon and back. 

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